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- Who Would You Kill On Becker?
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Who Would You Kill On Facts Of Life? -
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Thephoenix says
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I Would Kill... Lily!
Sean does something to screw up Lily's chances of losing her virginity. Sean claims he did it for her own good, but she is still pissed, so at some open house deal she takes of her top and her bra and dances for boys. She ends up losing her virginity (good for her, now she can shut up), but she gets a reputation for being easy (like she didn't have that already). She finally gets a steady boyfriend who sneaks up into her room so they can have sex. Eddie walks in on them and "tells" (play charades until he gets the point) Sean. Sean walks up to Lily's room, grabs the horny bastard (Lily's boyfriend) by his penis, and throws him out the window. What he didn't know was that Lily was clinging to his back and he fell on top of her. In the words of the great Homer Simpson, D'oh.
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Zach replies
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That is what a father get's for trying to interfere with the natural virginity cycle.
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Too lazy to type my name says
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I Would Kill... Eddie!
Eddie was digging through the fridge and he found some pizza and ate all gone. Then Sean came in. Sean- What are you doing Eddie that was Lily's pizza. And she will kill you for eating it. Lily came in with a gun. Lily- Die you ate my pizza. And she shot him in gut. And then threaten the rest of her family that if they ate her pizza again she would kill them all. And she then went up to her room to go to sleep with the gun by her side.
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Zach replies
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Finally, somebody killed someone other than Lily. Of course she is the evil one in the plot so I'm not sure if it counts.
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T.L.to T.M.N. says
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I Would Kill... Lily!
I'd secretly replace her crack rock with Foldger's Crystals(tm) and then slip into a nice warm tub filled with canned peaches, smoking cigaretts and watching Captain Kangaroo, whilst El Nino my mexican house boy fanned me and fed me grapes.
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Zach replies
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I'm not sure I understand how exactly Lily dies, but I'm fascinated by all the rich details of that bathtub scene. I think people actually hate Lily more than Jan Brady.
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damn too lazy to think up a witty re says
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I Would Kill... Lily!
In an attemp to get out of wearing uniforms period, Lily decides that she will run through the school naked. This causes all the nuns to come out with machine guns and shoot her down for the sake of everyone else. They cover her with blankets and let her rot on the playground. A lesson from God.
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Zach replies
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Another example of some holy rollers that you should watch out for.
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